dear darling.

It’s been two years, Darl.

And I’ve been doing this every year since you left me forever.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry.”

Every single year.

“I try to be fine without you, so please don’t worry about me any longer.”

The same words…

    The same lies…

       I keep saying it as if you would hear me.

             On your birthday

             our anniversary

              or the day of your death.

 

I tried to be okay, seriously.

But everything seems different without you.

The world I’m living in,

This world without you by my side.

It is much harder

 

I feel nasty to keep saving a place

For you -and your stupid hats.

For you -and our memories

For you -and wish upon the star

                   wish that someday

                               perhaps

                                   you’ll back, and hug me

                                          and say that it’s okay.

                                                    It’s okay, Babe. I’m here with you.

 

 

Still hoping for the dead man to come back

While I hug another man who is alive.

 

How stupid I am.

Be happy there, my stupid old man.

I miss you, Darl.

I always do.